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Is my partner an alcoholic?

You probably came to this website to gather information about whether your drinker is an alcoholic or not.  You probably want to find out if he or she fits the medical criteria because that would help your case with getting her to change.  You have had the discussion (or should that be argument) many times about whether he is an alcoholic and she has always strenuously denied it.  Yeah, we know it's really frustrating, everybody can see it.  Everyone except her that is.

What is the criteria for alcoholism?

Alcoholism, or as it is more commonly called these days – dependence – tends to have a number of characteristics

  •          Drinks a lot
  •          The drinking is harmful (physically, psychologically etc)
  •          Has withdrawal symptoms (eg shaking, sweating, anxiety)
  •          Has difficulty from refraining from drinking

These are the hallmarks of dependency or alcoholism.  The problem is that, unless the drinker is actually ready to change then he will predictably tell you “I’m not an alcoholic, I can stop anytime I want”.  The problem is that, even if they do say that they are going to change it is seldom today, it is almost always tomorrow or next week.  And, if they do stop drinking it seldom lasts.

Does he have a problem

You don’t need a medical diagnosis to tell you that his drinking is a problem.  You have asked her repeatedly to not drink too much but it has always fallen on deaf ears.  His drinking upsets you and other family members and causes regular arguments in the home.  Your social life is shrinking and you are not getting invited to places that you once did, or you are too ashamed to invite people to your house for fear that she might be drunk.  Or ... you can add any number of other consequences of his drinking to this list.

The point that we are making here is that, even if he or she don’t think that they have a problem – their drinking IS causing a problem to you and the family.  In Bottled Up we show you a different way of looking at alcohol problems, a way that is more useful and successful in discussing the drinking issue with your drinker.  We call this method SHARE because it examines the effects of drinking on the various areas of your life
  •    Safety
  •     Health
  •     Ambitions
  •     Relationships
  •     Environment

Find out more about alcoholism, SHARE and how to survive living with an alcoholic by becoming a member of Bottled Up

Join Bottled Up

Does knowing whether she is an alcoholic help?

Sorry but the answer to that question is no, it seldom helps. In fact, the word alcoholic can be real barrier to any reasonable discussion.  It seems to antagonise and lead to hurt and defensive outbursts instead of moving the drinker towards really looking at her drinking.

All material copyright Lou Lewis and John McMahon © 2018

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