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Please note:  This website is no longer updated.  You may still find the information useful, however if you would like to access the latest version of Bottled Up click on this link www.bottled-up.com

What Can I Do to Help My Drinker to Change?

The good news is that there are many strategies that you can use that help your drinker to change and to make change more certain and more lasting. However to do that you will almost certainly need to change the way you think about the drinking issue.

2 Vital Things to Understand if You Live with a Problem Drinker

Firstly, much of what you do to try and change the drinking is understandable (maybe even logical) but unfortunately is not helpful.  Please don't hear that as a criticism much of the behaviour that happens in an alcoholic relationship is counter-intuitive and nobody was brought up knowing how to deal with the situation.

Secondly, secrecy allows addictive behaviour to flourish. Reaching out for support and understanding is not betrayal, instead it will give you a healthier perspective and foundation to tackle the issues.

4 Classic Mistakes Partners' of Drinkers Easily Fall Into

Because Lou and John (the founders of Bottled Up) have been there before you they know the pitfalls, the pain and despair, the vicious circles and the crushing disappointments.  They also know the things that are empowering and can promote change.  

This website is full of their wisdom, personal and professional experience and their compassion and support.  If you want your situation to change this website is for you.

The first step in change is to stop doing the things that don't work and can even make things worse.  They are:

  1. Classic Mistake 1
  2. Classic Mistake 2
  3. Classic Mistake 3
  4. Classic Mistake 4

So What can I do? 

There are many things that you can do to change your drinker and your situation.  

Have a look at the video: What Now 


Lou and John created Bottled Up because, just like you, they have also suffered the effects of alcoholism.  Because they know that sense of being alone, not knowing where to turn.  They started Bottled Up to help and support you and others like you.

Lou was married to an alcoholic for 29 years till his death and talks openly about the mistakes she made, the times she got it right and the lessons she learned.  John was an alcoholic and addict (clean and sober since 1984) and is completely frank about his drinking and recovery.  Between them they provide a rare insight into both sides of the issue, the drinker and the partner.  But they bring more than personal experience, they also bring professional training and experience.

Lou is a therapist with her own counselling practice, so she brings a knowledge of strategies for change.  John is a psychologist who taught addiction counsellors at the Centre for Alcohol and Drug Studies at Paisley University and who has published widely and presented his research at many international conferences.



 Professional help and advice – that you can trust

 Tried and tested strategies – that will change your life       

 Personal experience of both sides of drinking – helping you understand why some things work and others just don’t

 A Caring and supportive community - that you can share with



All material copyright Lou Lewis and John McMahon © 2018

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